My Husband Has Been Insinuating Mean Things Lately?

1: said my belly is getting bigger (not in a very nice way, although at first he tried to pretend he was joking)

2: Said my thighs were bigger than last year.

3: KEEPS on saying I should go to the damn gym.

4: Told me I wasn't going to be happy when I put on a bathing suit.

Ok, a little about me, I'm no pansy, I pretty much told him I was going to beat his *** if he said one more thing about it. (this is after telling him he was hurting my feelings after each thing he said over a week period)

Him: He's basically a nice guy. Really! Not the stereotypical type you'd think of when you hear 'the man is calling his wife fat' bit.

I do webcam online karaoke, I think he's worried about guys looking at me. That's all I can think it might be. (insecurity, unconscious belittling to show I can't do better)

I'm 24, he's 33 (and not the most fit)

What do you think his deal could be?! Is he losing interest? Falling out of love? Any insight at all?



me:

http://i10.tinypic.com/6aiog0l.jpg

My Husband Has Been Insinuating Mean Things Lately?
It could be that he just feels his own age and lack of healthfulness creeping in on him, so he is transferring it to you. It's not an easy thing to feel age creeping up on you, to see how your body is changing and some people, who may be perfectly nice, may just attack others, especially those they love, in a statement of frustration more than anything else.
Reply:ok, i just seen your pic. not trying to sound weird or anything, but you dont look bad to me. maby he is jealous of other guys looking at you? maby start saying rude thing to him, like when he is making rude comments about you, walk by him, stop, sniff the air, and say whats that awful smell? oh, you must not have showered today. or oh, you opened your mouth. that might actually shut him up. good luck to you.
Reply:Okay! You are a normal size. And your husband is just jealous over the karaoke thing. So tell him to do it with you. Maybe he will lay off once he knows that everyone who watches you knows you are happily married.
Reply:My husband is doing the same thing......and I look no different than I did 5 yrs ago. What he says is very hurtful. I get mad, upset and even cry sometimes. It has done little for my self esteem. I just keep on going with the days. Hope that one day he will stop his degrading. I don't think it is "losing interest" or "falling out of love". I just think that sometimes when they are not happy with themselves they have to put someone down. Like they are not happy with themselves...........Good luck.
Reply:I'd dump you. Just in this one post, you've put out so many red flags that I can't see you as possible marriage material. If he's looking for something serious, tell him I said, "dump you".



Oh crap! He already married you. That sucks.
Reply:I can't stand men like this. They are the epitome of "pigs". Women gain and lose weight all the time - I'm sure your look fine.



Are you having confidence issues with your body? If so, men can feel that and sometimes they just follow your vibe. Men who cheat on their wives a lot of times cheat with someone fatter and uglier than what they've got at home. So, start thinking about yourself as "hot" and he will too...
Reply:A nice guy doesn't say things like that. If he doesn't like the way you look then why are you with each other? Ditch the looser and find a guy who will appreciate you. A real man will love you no matter how much you change.
Reply:Are you gaining weight? There is always a comfortable area you enter when married and weight can be gained quite quickly, but laziness is no excuse. There is also an age difference there that could be significant. You may be right about the jealousy thing too. Get away from the computer for a while. Also, 30-45 minutes a day is all it takes to drop a few pounds, tone up.
Reply:Some times it is difficult to answer things that you and only you really know. What I can see it is that there is a lack of communication between your husband and you. I think both of you should take your time and go away one weekend, and in peaceful atmosphere sit and talk to each other. Let you words come out free from your mouth, and when time for him to talk, listen quietly and with interest. If you start fighting you marriage will end up, try to avoid that road as long as you can.But let him know that you as well as him deserve respect and that it is both responsibility to try to keep young and healthy. Best luck to you.