Tuesday, February 7, 2012

How to get over a relatinoship....?

I went out with her for 3 1/2 years and we broke up about 2 days ago because of differences on moving out. She wanted to move out and in with me and I said I wouldn't move out till I'm done college because I'm 21 and finishing college first while I'm living at home. It sucks so unbelievably much because at times I feel OK about it and it's for the best and then at other times I have no idea what to do. The thought of her being with some other guy is driving me nuts! I always thought guys that acted like this after a break up were pansies or whipped and now I'm understanding for myself what it's like...I will not try and work things out because I refuse to drag her along unhappily with hopes of moving out before college is done with so please don't suggest that. My question is fairly simple...how the heck do you get over someone....I've had other relationships but was never phased when they ended.

How to get over a relatinoship....?
It's hard to get over a relationship that has lasted as long as yours had. Judging by timelines, it either started around your senior year of high school or freshman year of college, am i right? So, with all the experiences and growing pains you two have gone through, I guess what I don't understand is why for her there had to be that ultimatum? Why wasn't she willing to compromise in the situation and understand your need to finish college? I'm sure that in spite of all that, she's hurting right now as much as you are and, unless I'm reading your message incorrectly, your relationship with her is far from resolved. You should communicate with her and talk to her about the situation. She's probably resentful that she was second priority to your education, and I'm wondering if you can't reason with her that school won't last forever. It seems paltry to throw in the towel after 3.5 years just because of living arrangements, especially if she believed so strongly in the relationship to take it a step further. Just because the circumstances don't allow does not mean that things should come to an end.

However, if the relationship is hopeless, then the best thing for your wounds is time, as well as keeping yourself preoccupied. Your life used to be connected to this person, and now you need to fill that void. Keep good friends and family close around you to talk out your feelings and to lift your spirits. Focus on getting that degree. Perhaps staying away from her is the best thing for you at the moment, so that you can concentrate on your own healing and not worry about what she is doing, who she's with, etc. This may be hard if you two have many mutual friends or have classes together, but it can be done.

And one more thing--- definitely do not start dating yet. Any girl right now would be a rebound for you, and you'll only end up hurting yourself and the other girl. However, do immerse yourself into your renewed singlehood. Hang out with your guy friends and enjoy the rest of your college life.

Good luck!

How to keep curls in

No comments:

Post a Comment